More article drafts

Draft & Final -Article 7

Harrogate gets the 5 Stars

RESTAURANTS, Cafes, Deli’s, Sandwich Shops, Pubs, Takeaways, Butchers and School Canteens in the Harrogate District have now been awarded star rating based on the factors of quality or service and management, the cleanliness of the premise and hygiene hoping to raise standards in the area.
The ratings that have been awarded are listed on Harrogate Councils scores on the doors website although premises are been encourage to display them. Five star ratings have been awarded to premises such as Betty’s and Fodder.
As this was only a small article,I did not need to change it by cutting it down or re-ordering. This is because it gave all the information needed all in the right order.

Draft and Final -Article 8
Hospitals alarming capacity

HARROGATE HOSPITAL capacity has risen 15 per cent hitting winter levels this month, leaving little room for patients.
At the alarming 97 per cent capacity, the hospital is asking residents if they really need emergency attention as there is so little bed space.
The increase has led to concerns that staff will not be able to cope over the colder period because of the hospital being so busy at this time.
Although the hospital has coped with the recent rise, preparation for the winter months has now started, as the hospital has now started.
The hospital are now looking into bringing extra bed capacity and is expecting the Farndale Ward to be re-opened in early December following a multi-million pound refurbishment.

Again I left the article as it was and my audience seemed happy with it too.the article was another short one however if I needed to I could of expanded it .

Draft & Final-Article 9
Bargain fashion store 'Primark' prepare for autumn opening

HARROGATE is set to be welcoming bargain fashion store Primark to Cambridge Street in late autumn.
Retail giant Arcadia sold the lease of BHS in the mid winter to the Primark group and since then an immense amount of work has been taking place to prepare for the opening.
It was expected that the super saving store would open in July just gone, although much to many of the public’s disappointment there is still and extensive amount of work to be done to prepare for the opening.
Although there has been no official date set, confirmation that the opening would be towards the end of the year was placed through job adverts for store roles this week.
Rebecca Lunn is delighted about the opening of Primark ‘it will be useful to have in the centre as it avoid going to Leeds and back and will be there when you need an item straight away it will also provide me a massive saving on my part time wage as will no longer have to spend large amount on clothing that quickly goes out of fashion and shrinks in the wash’
Furthermore not everyone shares the same view of the opening Iris Allen disagrees with this as she fears it will ‘bring a cheap feel to Harrogate making the streets a lot busier and risking smaller independent clothing stores go bust’
Primark had indicated that it will have an extensive refurbishment and will provide the community with a bunch of new jobs as well as bargain clothing wear which is predicted to cause a war with popular surrounding shops such as River Island and H & M.
The company which has 139 stores in the U.K so far has of clothes made specifically for the company with the most famous brand Atmosphere to come of Primark being a massive success across the Europe.
2005 saw Primark score the lowest of all clothing chains with 3.5 out of 20 only being rewarded on an ethical index that ranks criteria such as workers' rights causing a huge setback with since Primark has bounced back from.
With the company positioning itself as marketing fashionable clothing at extremely competitive prices.
Although there is a lot of disagreement about the upcoming shop, many hope the final outcome will be just what Harrogate needs and give many people jobs that are needed.
Job advertisements from page 21

This article is going to be quite a main feature on the second page,i included quotes in argumentative styles and back ground information to pad the article out.The only thing that had to be changed was spelling.

Draft & Final -Article 10


Massive sets of roadworks predict heavy traffic this summer

MASSIVE sets of roadwork’s have began over the Harrogate district this week and are set to cause heavy traffic due to the worst winter Great Britain have seen in over thirty years.
Across the district there has been £10.5 million agreed to re-build the terrible roads.
After the heavy battering of snow the roads have taken, £ 3.4 million has been allocated to the Harrogate district with Knaresborough and Harrogate itself has been set £1.9 million.
Some of the money comes from the unexpected tax rise and has been put towards paying for the roadwork’s, in order to repair the many of un-even roads that are covered in potholes and make it very difficult to drivers on their routes.
The roadwork’s which are set to last until Christmas with the heavily used roads such as the areas of schools and main roads such as Leeds and Skipton roads are due to be done first .
The heavily used roads have been prioritised were either strategically important or needed to be repaired by September to minimise disruption for school traffic
The north Yorkshire county council have reassured the community that the repairs will avoid the busiest peaks of the morning and evening periods and will try to have the work repaired later on in the evening to avoid congestion.
In many cases the roads will need to be closed to allow repair to be done to the best of their standards.
The work which began on Monday saw many busy environments change such as Otley Road and Leeds Road.
Eleanor Connor who lives on Leeds Road commented on how the usual active road was ‘completely ghostly and unusually quite’.
Other roads which are set to have some disruption are High Street, Bond End, Park Row, Wetherby road and some part of Otley Road.
While busy roads will be completed before Christmas, many minor routes won’t be completed until next year.
Although there is going to be some inconvenience to motorist the county council are doing the best they can to keep delay to minimum.
With roadwork’s going as expected, the council are hopeful the roads will be in a much better shape and with be able to face terrible winters to come.
Signs will be posted around the area before the work begins and alternate routes will be signposted while the closures are in place.

This article is quite informative; I followed the pyramid to keep the article well structured. My audience feedback was 'well structured and infromative'.The article did not need any big changes, only minor such as spelling and punctuation.

1st draft and second draft-Article 11

Majestic hotel set to re-open

THE MAJESTIC HOTEL is due to re-open this September, when it will have been closed for nearly four months.
The hotel that suffered a major fire in May took the life of kitchen porter Nigel Butterfield, 41.
The hotels are planning to open west wing with 88 bedrooms after the serve fire and water damage.
The east wing will still have remaining work but the hotel have structured the building agenda so their guest will not be disturbed.
Charles Prew, CEO of Barceló UK claims that” by April 2011 the renovation of the damaged section will have been finished and this important landmark will be restored to its former glory at the heart of Harrogate.
We are very proud of how well the team from the Majestic have coped with this unfortunate situation and deeply grateful to both local business and individuals who have been so supportive of our efforts,”
More than 50 staff are expected to return in September, many of the staff have been working in other Barceló hotels during closure.
With the hotel being shut for nearly four months the hotel has also being given the chance for a few makeovers through the hotel.
Vince Johnson, general manager of the Barceló Harrogate Majestic Hotel explains that "we have taken the opportunity while the hotel has been shut to redecorate and newly carpet the lobby and most of the magnificent public areas.
The hotel’s leisure club is also having a significant makeover and will reopen fully by early October.
In November we are hoping that local craftsman Lee Simone will have finished restoring the celebrated murals in the North and South Lounges.
We will reopen the sumptuous main dining room in all its glory in time for Christmas parties and weddings,”
The project is in safe hands as it is being led by architects FGF Associates who have been working with the hotel for over 15 years.

Final

THE Majestic Hotel is due to re-open this September, when it will have been closed for nearly four months.
The hotel that suffered a major fire in May took the life of kitchen porter Nigel Butterfield, 41.
The hotels are planning to open west wing with 88 bedrooms after the serve fire and water damage.
Charles Prew, CEO of Barceló UK claims” by April 2011 the renovation of the damaged section will have been finished and this important landmark will be restored to its former glory at the heart of Harrogate’
More than 50 staff are expected to return in September, many of the staff have been working in other Barceló hotels during closure.
Vince Johnson, general manager of the Majestic explains that "we have taken the opportunity while the hotel has been shut to redecorate and newly carpet the lobby and most of the magnificent public areas.
The hotel’s leisure club is also having a significant makeover and will reopen fully by early October.
We will reopen the sumptuous main dining room in all its glory in time for Christmas parties and weddings,”
The project is being led by architects FGF Associates who have been working with the hotel for over 15 years.
The article was too long and went into too much detail; I cut the article down and only included the most important quotes and details in the article that the viewer would want to read.

Draft & final-Article 12

Vital witness sought after Co-op Robbery.

HARROGATE POLICE are pleading for witnesses, following a robbery at Otley Road Co-op.
Locally the shop known as the ‘Little Co-op’ saw the incident took place on Sunday the 11th June at 8:45pm.
Luckily no one was hurt although the 20 year old cashier was threatened with a knife.
However the robber left the shop before the cashier has chance to open the till.
The description of the man who carried out the attempted robbery is a white male of 5ft 9in and 6ft 1in tall with an average build.
At the time of the incident the man was thoroughly dressed in black along with a knitted balaclava covering his face.
When he left the premises the offender headed down an alleyway to the side of the shop in the direction of the town.
Anyone who knows anything of the incident please contact Lydia Davenport, of Harrogate CID, on 0845 60 60 24 7 .

Draft & Final Article 13

No change in car charges
Locals will be glad to hear that there will be no increase in parking charges within the next year.
In Harrogate, just the Victoria multi-storey car park will rise by 20p per hour.

Both article 12 & 13 were not changed as they were so small there was no need for adjustments or adding more as simply that would be unnecessary

Representation

My newspaper is going to represent a local newspaper such as the Harrogate Advertiser. It will be symbolize a paper by using the key generic conventions such as the same price, a local website and date.

The masthead will also represent a local newspaper by having half the title in bold and the second half in italic the masthead will also have a colour block behind it to truly represent a local paper like the Harrogate advertiser.
The photographs will also represent a local newspaper by using a range of shot and the content will show that Harrogate community.
The font will also follow tradition too and I will be using Times New Roman ,as well as this being the typical font it is also clear and readable and connotes that the newspaper is serious and straight to the point .

Front Page article drafts

Article 3

HARROGATE dealt with another blow to its economy this week as Royal Bank of Scotland staff were told their jobs had been axed.
While just weeks earlier RBS announced its half a year profits off £1.1billion, making the cut a massive disbelief to staff and the surrounding district.
More than 500 jobs will go at Central house in Otley Road by next September
Cuts that are due to be made are in roles that have been given the axe will be in the back office of the centre, the units include retail and business with some call centre staff.
Some of these jobs, are due to be moved contracted offshore to countries such as India and America.
Described by Unite National Officer Rob Macgregor as a ‘"bitter pill for staff to swallow".
Harrogate MP Andrew Jones is urging RBS bosses to rethink ‘last week staffs were told that this centre is one of the company's best performers. It makes no sense to close a strong performer.’
RBS believe: "Having to cut jobs is the most difficult part of our work to rebuild RBS and repay taxpayers for their support.
Harrogate borough council’s economic development manager Kathryn Daly, adds to the and describes the company ‘as a key-economic company ‘
The business first moved into the Harrogate offices in 1997 and accommodates loyal staff that have been there from the beginning.
However some of the workforce could be offered similar roles at venture capital business Advent-Bain, which bought most of RBS’s global merchant business.

What I changed
The article was simply to long when i started to place it ,this shows why the pyramid scheme is needed as the additional 'padding' information was not needed so it was easily cut.

Article 4
HARROGATE could see the opening of the first permanent skate park by January, the borough council have been rethinking their plans since the success and popularity of the temporary skate park.
The skate park which is said to be located at the valley gardens is said to go before planners by November. Teenage skaters, bikers and bladers have submitted their ideas that have been included in the design plans aiding to the support of the plans.
A substantial £140, 00 has been put aside by the council for the new skate park and BMX facility with some of the money coming from community safety and grants.
The proposal that is getting put before the planners, hopes that the feature will sit alongside the tennis courts. Many hope the plans will be accepted and the park will become a central place for skaters and bikers.



What I changed?
Again the article was too long and just need some re-wording ,above shows the section that was cut and below shows the final article



Final
HARROGATE could see the opening of the first permanent skate park by January, the borough council have been rethinking their plans since the success and popularity of the temporary skate park.
The skate park which is said to be located at the valley gardens is to go before planners by November. Teenage skaters, bikers and bladers have submitted their ideas that have been included in the design plans aiding to the support of the plans.
A substantial £140, 00 has been put aside by the council for the new park and BMX facility with some of the money coming from community safety and grants

Article 5 -First draft

A TWO inch scorpion was discovered on the streets of Harrogate this week.
The exotic creature was found on Mayfield grove in the centre of the town and handed to police by residents who were passing by.
Police are now trying to trace the scorpion’s origins and would like know how such a creature from a hot climate could be found in the streets or Harrogate.
This particular scorpion is thought to be a bealychas infuscatus female from Singapore, although similar breeds could be found in the Middle East.
With a sting from this particular breed of scorpion leaving a victim in fatal condition police are eager to find anyone with any information on the matter.



What I changed
This article was too big for a short article, i cut out minor information such as 'With a sting from this particular breed of scorpion leaving a victim in fatal condition police are eager to find anyone with any information on the matter' to make the article fit.

Article 6

THE RIVER NIDD and the surrounding town saw more than 20,000 people gather on the streets to support the popular Great Knaresborough Bed Race, which took place last Saturday.
An impressive 630 competitors took part, equalling into 90 teams who had a tiny 45 minutes to finish the race which consist of contestant racing their bed as fast as they can around the river and finally taking a strenuous dip into the chilly waters of the Nidd itself.
This year Ripon Runners for HPL came first at an impressive time of thirteen minutes and fifty-six seconds.

What I changed
All I changed was the beginning of the article making only 'THE' appearing in block capitals to represent a newspaper typical generic conventions .The article was the right size and gave the correct information for a small article so i kept the rest the same .

Article 2-Draft/Audience feedback /Redraft

Article 2-Draft/Audience feedback /Redraft

1st Draft
HARROGATE Grammar school’s new sixth form building is quickly taking shape much to the delight of the schools community.
   The build that is due to be finished by September will include a multifunctional learning theatre, practical teaching space, a media suite and six further new classrooms to accommodate and benefit the schools growing sixth form.
   The funding for the new development came from the learning and skills council which has been described as a well needed adjustment to the school.
   After the worst winter in 10 years, many sixth formers feared the school would not be ready in time but now the project is back on track for some of the student’s final year.
   Year 13 student Hannah Bobbett is looking forward to moving into the new block ‘it will be so exciting to be finally in the new building, spending my final year in there will be thoroughly enjoying with the use of its new facilities such as the media suite which in particular sixth from is in need of because of its varied course’
   The media suite which is causing much anticipation due to the fact computers are being placed so they ‘pop’ out of the desk and are easily placed back away so the space can be used as desks which will place a contemporary twist on the school.
   Mr Howell business manager at the grammar school adds that the ‘new addition will be a wonderful improvement for the school’ which will create’ a fantastic environment for learning’.
   Bowman Reilly, the architects for the school have now revealed the exclusive plans of the build on their website for the general public to view.
    The plans also re-enforce the intended luxury with details such as ‘the space will be provided with a full AVIT (audio visual information technology facilities), stage lighting and storage’.
   In addition to this the sixth form extension is the biggest investment since the original school was constructed in 1933 enabling a modern, efficient building for the school itself and the surrounding area.
   During the recent weeks the school has recently demolished the three temporary huts they were using to teach the sixth form and added an extra thirty car parking space to the schools car park which reflects the growth of the local district and the rising demand for teachers.
   As well as the new sixth form the school has also seen a new library and an extension to the dining room which was completed at Easter.
  Harrogate Grammar which was declared outstanding in the last Ofsted report has been given the go-ahead to add a third specialism of a ‘training school’ adding to its language and technology speciality.
    The third status means that the school would be able to work with Universities and other leading schools although a further benefit would be that raised standards of the schools workforce would also take place.
Exclusive plans on pages 17&18
Audience feedback
Good Points
Good quotes
Covers a lot of detail
Includes the 5'Ws
Bad Points
Could include what happening in the school now

Redraft
HARROGATE Grammar school’s new sixth form building is quickly taking shape much to the delight of the schools community.
   The build that is due to be finished by September will include a multifunctional learning theatre, practical teaching space, a media suite and six further new classrooms to accommodate and benefit the schools growing sixth form.
    The funding for the new development came from the learning and skills council which has been described as a well needed adjustment to the school.
   After the worst winter in 10 years, many sixth formers feared the school would not be ready in time but now the project is back on track for some of the student’s final year.
   Year 13 student Hannah Bobbett is looking forward to moving into the new block ‘it will be so exciting to be finally in the new building, spending my final year in there will be thoroughly enjoying with the use of its new facilities such as the media suite which in particular sixth from is in need of because of its varied course’
   The media suite which is causing much anticipation due to the fact computers are being placed so they ‘pop’ out of the desk and are easily placed back away so the space can be used as desks which will place a contemporary twist on the school.
   Mr Howell business manager at the grammar school adds that the ‘new addition will be a wonderful improvement for the school’ which will create’ a fantastic environment for learning’.
   Bowman Reilly, the architects for the school have now revealed the exclusive plans of the build on their website for the general public to view.
    The plans also re-enforce the intended luxury with details such as ‘the space will be provided with a full AVIT (audio visual information technology facilities), stage lighting and storage’.
   In addition to this the sixth form extension is the biggest investment since the original school was constructed in 1933 enabling a modern, efficient building for the school itself and the surrounding area.
   During the recent weeks the school has recently demolished the three temporary huts they were using to teach the sixth form and added an extra thirty car parking space to the schools car park which reflects the growth of the local district and the rising demand for teachers.
   As well as the new sixth form the school has also seen a new library and an extension to the dining room which was completed at Easter.
  The school in now putting plans forward for an all new weather pitch, which will enable students to play sports all year round rather than the overused and damaged shale which has seen several floods in the past year .
  Harrogate Grammar which was declared outstanding in the last Ofsted report has been given the go-ahead to add a third specialism of a ‘training school’ adding to its language and technology speciality.
   The third status means that the school would be able to work with Universities and other leading schools although a further benefit would be that raised standards of the schools workforce would also take place.
Exclusive plans on pages 17&18

Article 1 - Draft/Audience Feedback/Redraft

(Short Article)

3,200 women turnout for this year’s Race for Life

1st Draft
   Wednesday the 24th of June saw mothers, daughters, sisters, aunties, grandmothers and friends pound the pavements for the 5k race for life to raise money for Cancer Research U.K.
  Now in the 16th year, Harrogate saw its best turn out in years with over 3,200 women taking part down at the Yorkshire showground.
   Since 1994 race for life has raised over £240million for the charity as well as gaining awareness helping contribute to a 15% drop in cancer deaths.
   One in three people in the UK get diagnosed with cancer at some point in their lives and having a an event like this helps bring hope and awareness; the money contributed can buy much needed equipment ,with just £10 buying around 300 glass slides for studying cells and tumour samples in detail under the microscope.
    The results of the people contributing to raising the awareness are showing as more and more people are now beating cancer.

Audience Feedback
Bad points-'Could include quotes from someone who ran the race or someone the money will help'
Good Points-'Very positive'
Good use of facts, sounds very informative and promotes the charity'

Re-Draft
Wednesday the 24th of June saw mothers, daughters, sisters, aunties, grandmothers and friends pound the pavements for the 5k race for life to raise money for Cancer Research U.K.
Now in the 16th year, Harrogate saw its best turn out in years with over 3,200 women taking part down at the Yorkshire showground.
Rebecca Anson who took part in the race ‘it was truly worth it and really invigorating to run, I will be most defiantly be running next year and helping to raise money for cancer research’
Since 1994 race for life has raised over £240million for the charity as well as gaining awareness helping contribute to a 15% drop in cancer deaths.
One in three people in the UK get diagnosed with cancer at some point in their lives and having a an event like this helps bring hope and awareness; the money contributed can buy much needed equipment ,with just £10 buying around 300 glass slides for studying cells and tumour samples in detail under the microscope.
The results of the people contributing to raising the awareness are showing as more and more people are now beating cancer.

Notes on Re-Draft
I listened to my audience feedback and added a quote in (Highlighted in Bold).
The quote is from my Auntie who ran the race so it was fairly easy to add this in, as the article is only due to be a short part of my newspaper I felt there was no need to add anything else in and kept it as above

Mode of address analysis

The language of the article (from the Harrogate Advertiser) is formal as it addressing a range of audience; the paper is also well respected.  The article conveys typical modes of address such as the articles contents pyramid and direct and reportive speech to provide a mixture of style and keep the audience interested.

Questionaire Analysis

In order to convey a real newspaper, I asked a variety (15people) of people male and female of all age ranges, to give honest opinions of what they really buy a newspaper for, what they would like to see featured and what section they find most interesting etc. Here are my results.

Question 1 -My results may be more female orientated as I asked slightly more female than male. Although because I asked 33% of male this should not make too much of a difference.

Question 2-My results show that I asked a range of people of all ages although I found it difficult to cover the age ranges of 13-16, 27-30 and 61-70 although this should not make too  much difference because of the amount of people I asked where all spread out and not just in one particular section

Question 3-My findings show that more people (46%) purchase a newspaper once a month and only 40% purchased a local newspaper every week. This could be an indication that 54% are too busy to read a weekly paper therefore only buy it when they are interested in the content for a specific reason .

Question 4-Question four of my research was finding out why people buy local newspapers. I left this question as an open question as the people that were asked might, have had a more specific answer .I found that 13% of people asked bought a newspaper for a specific section, answers I got included family announcements and local sport .20% of people bought the paper to see coverage e of events such as weddings and school balls. Whilst nearly half (47%) bought a paper to keep up with local news. Those of who answered ‘local news/gossip/recent news’ were more likely to purchase the paper weekly (33% showed this)

Question 5-The 7% that stated that 90p was not a fair price for weekly local newspaper was because that they found it was too expensive .The person that stated this was between the ages of 41-50 showing that people who purchase the Harrogate Advertiser weekly, had nothing to do with age .73% of people that stated it was affair price gave reasons such as ‘fair price for a good read’, ’Its weekly so provides a good content’. The 20% of people that answered ‘depends’ stated it due to the content whether it was a good price.

Question 6-When asked where consumers purchase a paper the local shops (such as the co-op etc) was the most popular answer .The second most common answer was the supermarket with 27% with only 20% purchasing a paper from a post office and 7% getting a paper delivered .The reason I asked this question was to find out which retailers received the most purchases, with my results it shows that the paper will more likely to get sales if sold at a supermarket as it may be more convenient for future customers

Question 7-Both the photographs and the hard news is what tends to be a focus for the audience the most with 27% saying this. Entertainment and Events interested slightly less –people but still show the importance in why there are featured. Most male members of the public that were asked said sport was the favourite sections indicating this section is particularly important in getting male audiences to buy a local paper.

Question eight- was about finding out if the audience were happy with the current content of the newspaper in the means of font size, more on a particular section, cheaper price, and more photographs or other with a following section for the audience to elaborate on the question .Some of my audience chose not to answer this question so I presume they are happy with the overall content but those who did stated they would like more on a specific section (42%) some quotes reasons being  ‘more locals events such as schools etc...’ and  ‘a larger sports section’. Others said they would like more photographs (25%) and some even said a ‘cheaper price would be nice.’ Others said a bigger font because sometimes it was difficult to see, with one person selecting other because the paper would be a better size if it was like the tabloid size.

Question 9-A massive 60% of the people asked stated that they don’t think local newspapers appeal to all age ranges.’ More for the older generation and older ones were favoured ‘were just a few reasons. One person that was asked and answered yes stated that there was coverage for all ages in the news and events’. A reason some people stated yes could be down to the reason that newspaper cover events such as school balls and plays.

Question 10-I asked a closed question about the layout and only one person stated they would change the layout by having a smaller sized paper .With the majority over ruling this ,it is not something I will take into consideration when designing my papers as everyone else liked the layout or did not have a problem it.

Question 11-53% stated they would like more features in a local paper, they gave ideas such as ‘young people’s events rather than just proms’,’weather forecast for the local area’ ‘competition and reviews of local attractions’ ‘more offers on local days out/restaurants’. I feel that particularly more young people events would be an advantage because it would help show more positivity about that generation and the weather forecast was quite interesting in the regional paper ‘Yorkshire post’ and the Harrogate area might benefit from it.

Question 12-Finally I gave my audience a few lines to add any additional feedback in areas I have not covered .I had two comments from the fifteen people I asked with both of them stating the same thing of reducing the papers size as it is difficult when on the go .This would be something i would choose not to do as it would not convey as traditional local paper and would not be recognised as this as it would blend in with national papers and would not distinguish the paper apart.

Pie charts to back up my findings-